Was spending some time in the headtochrist.com forum and reading
testimonies

I entitled my testimony "REDEMPTION OF A DEAD MAN" because that is
exactly what I was, a dead man with no purpose in life. It is always a
bit difficult to share my sinful and violent past, yet people need to
know the Life-changing power, loving-tender mercy, and the everlasting
grace of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. As a young man of 12, some
neighborhood friends and I formed our first Chicano street gang in the
central-side of El Paso, Texas. At first we formed this gang with the
mindset that we needed to protect ourselves from other area Barrios,
hoods, and gangs. However, it didn't take long before we became the
aggressors. Within a couple of years our gang had grown to over 60 male
juveniles, and about 21 females. As a result, we begin to dabble with
drugs, alcohol, inhalants and so forth...

Our criminal activities expanded to aggravated assaults, attempted
murders, murder, armed roberies, drug dealing, thefts, vandalism, and so
on..By the age of 14, I already had two teenage girls expecting to have
my children. Women came and went, especially since we only viewed them
as sexual objects or as tools to retalliate against females whom we
disliked. Within the ensuing 5 years I was expelled, kicked out,
suspended, relocated, and or placed in alternative schools because of my
unruly and violent behaviors. It seemed that not a day went by, when I
was not involved in either a physical or verbal altercation.

As a direct result, I carried a variety of weapons such as a 25 Cal
handgun, a 357 revolver, a pocket knife, a boot knife, and a club under
my car seat. In order to escape the harsch reality which was my
so-called life, I often turned to cocaine and liquor in order to
temporarily escape & forget about my surroundings. Since the only things
I seemed to be good at was violence and illicit activities, local hoods
offered me work as a Bodyguard, bouncer, and a collector for all types
of shady hoods. As a result of my violent ways, I ended up in a Mexican
Prison in Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua Mexico for assaulting a couple of
Mexican federales. Yet, I didn't learn my lesson, because I continued to
hurt people without the slightest remorse.

Until that one night, I came home all coked out and drunk as a skunk. My
faithful girlfriend of three years was waiting for me to come home in
the shadows of the night, at which time she jumped out at me to surprise
me. Withou any hesitation, I begin to assault her without knowing who
she was; I assumed that it was one of my enemies. Until the moonlight
hit her face, I simply broke down and started to cry as she got up and
begin to runaway from me. The only person who had stuck by my side
through thick & thin, was now frantically running away from me. That
night I felt so horrible, because I came to realize that no one in my
life trusted me, or sincerely wanted to be around me. I was now all
alone. My family had disowned me; my so-called friends were afraid of
me; my business aqcuaintances only needed me or called me to take care
of their dirty work; and the local law-enforcement was aiming to put me
away.

That night miraculously, there was a small square pamphlet that said
"Smile Jesus Loves You!" As I read on, I said to myself there's
absolutely no way in hell, that Jesus could still love me. I was one of
the worst of the worst, you name it and I probably did it (SIN). However
that night in my backyard, I screamed out to Jesus that if He was truly
real; to please change me, save me, and to make into a new person.
Because I was tired of being evil, and for hurting all the people who
ever loved or cared for me. That night I wished for death, nonetheless
Jesus Christ gave me a New Life in Him. Ironically, I'm now a licensed &
ordained as a Christian Pastor with a calling as an Evangelist. I'm also
a few classes away from getting my degree in Human services, and I'm now
happily & faithfully married to my girlfriend of 12 years who stood by
my side through thick and thin.

Yet most importantly, everything I now am and everything I now have; I
owe it all to My Lord & Personal Savior Jesus Christ. Because without
His saving power & mercy, I'd more than likely would have been a hitman,
in prison, a drug-addict, or six-feet under awaiting my place in hell.
Nonetheless, I'm no longer a Dead Man, but a New Creation in Christ
Jesus. May God Bless and reach whoever reads this testimony for His
honor, purpose, and glory... God Bless Brother Brian